When we first got here, I was often taken aback and sometimes really hurt by comments made toward me about my appearance.  But, eventually I learned that commenting on someone’s appearance is just one way the Chinese show they care.  I was walking out in our courtyard yesterday and ran into Mrs. Zhao, an elderly woman with purple hair who lives upstairs from us.  She grabbed my hands and said, “When you first moved here, you were so fat!  But now you are too skinny!”  There was a time I would’ve quietly retreated back to our apartment and cried, but, instead, I responded by commenting on HER appearance, “Oh, Aunty!  You are looking healthy.  Your leg looks all better after your injury.  But you look tired, are you feeling well?”  She LOVED it!  She was beaming and I’m sure felt very cared for.

Here are a few other comments I’ve heard come my way:

“Are you an actress?”  Yeah.  Me and Angelina Jolie.  That’s the same.  But it still felt really nice.

Our housekeeper exclaims “Meena!  You’ve gained weight!” (translated straight from the Chinese it sounds like “You have too much flesh!”) and then grabbed my hips.  Ouch.

Two sales clerks whisper to each other thinking I can’t understand them, “Look at her eyes!  They’re so big!  And her nose is so pointy!”  A pointy nose is considered to be attractive, so I decided to take it as a compliment.